Originally posted 2017-08-25 10:55:54.
Hi!
Well! It’s countdown Day-13. The words on my heart today are, “compliments,” and “appreciation.” I guess you’re wondering why? Stay with me. Let’s work through some questions.
How often do you receive compliments? Does it matter, if you receive them or not? Could you possibly be in denial, if you said, “I could care less whether anyone compliments me?” No? Think about it.
Do you ever need your esteem boosted? Yes? Well, wouldn’t it hike up your esteem to receive a compliment every now and again? I’m sure it would. So, let’s face it. You want compliments; and you need them too.
As a matter of fact; we ALL need compliments sometimes.
Wednesday afternoon; while in Flint; my grandson and I were eating dinner after service. One of the church mothers asked, “Is he yours?” I said, “Yes,” thinking she was asking if Jordan was my grandson. Then she stated, “He looks just like you.” I told her that Jordan is my grandson. She looked surprised, and replied, “You don’t look like you’re old enough to have a grandson his age.” Wow! What a compliment!
I told her that I’m 56 years-old. She gave me this perplexed look. Then she asked the sister sitting with her, “Doesn’t she look like she’s in her early forties?” The sister agreed. I said to them. “You all have made my day!”
Actually, this was a confirmation from a previous compliment.
Just last week, after a funeral at my church; some guys and I talked about being fellow Central High School alumni. They happily told me they graduated in 1983 and 84. I said to them, “I have some years on you guys. I graduated in 1977, two years early. My graduation year should have been ’79.” They both looked surprised and said to me; “You look younger than your age. I thought you were my age or younger.” I smiled; and thanked them.
That same week, I was at the pharmacy picking up some medication. A guy walked up to me and said, “You sure are pretty.” 
I was tired, and wallowing in sadness from missing my daughter Mika. 
I did not feel like dealing with a stranger. My Mika was on my heart. Fighting back tears took precedence over talking to a stranger. ….Anyway; I thanked him, got my medicine and walked out of the store. But now that I think about it; that was much-needed flattery. Especially since I have felt really down about myself and my life lately.
Here’s another compliment
Wednesday evening, when my son-in-law, James came to pick up Jordan; we talked a while. Our conversations are a bit deep at times. He brought up the subjects of racism and religion. I testified to James about why I believe God and Jesus are real. I shared with him how I prayed to God about my financial state; and that someone blessed me with money.
I shared with James about the discussion on Millennials in the leadership conference I facilitated the day before. He leafed through the booklet. Then he said, “This looks like professional stuff, a person would buy.” Then he said in his sarcastic tone, “You know it’s good.” There it is; another compliment; and a difficult reception of it. But why?
That takes us to appreciation; or lack there of.
My friends, when was the last time you received a compliment? When someone spoke well of you, or your work; did you appreciate it? If yes; that’s good. But, if no; “Why not?”
I should have been more appreciative of the stranger’s compliment in the pharmacy. My being tired; and dealing with grief is no excuse. I don’t think I even smiled. How rude is that? Perhaps the man was not flirting. Maybe he was just complimenting a woman whom he considered, pretty.
It’s time to receive compliments about my work. So what, if James is my son-in-law. His compliment about the booklet I put together was not his trying to make me feel better. He spoke what was on his heart.
My friends, would you have been more appreciative? Or are you the nonchalant type? Why? Certainly it’s not conceit. So why the lack of appreciation for receiving a compliment? Is it because, you receive so many; until it’s no big thing? That’s great. But some people receive a lot of compliments; yet, they don’t take them in. Why not? Perhaps, their esteem is so low; until it hinders their ability to accept positive affirmations.
Does that describe YOU? Well….
Have you ever asked God why you don’t receive many compliments? If you’re single; have you ever wondered why your dates are few and far between? Have you ever felt “Ugly; too fat; too skinny; too short; too tall; too old; too dark; too light; too broke; disliked; unwanted; or unloved?” Maybe you should re-evaluate your life; and see how; people see you differently; than how you see yourself. Maybe your negative thoughts about YOU are repellents. Wow! I hadn’t thought about that.
Self-hate; or low self-esteem just might be the culprits behind people finding it hard to believe and receive genuine compliments. But where does this mindset come from? Think about it. If that describes you; go back and see where you received negative descriptions of you from others. Or maybe, you’ve watched how society places labels on people. See when and where you started identifying with negative self-perception.
Were you teased, as a child or teen, for being fat, skinny, tall or short? Have you seen others made fun of, for being overweight? Did children call you olive oil, big head, charcoal, or yellow banana? Did an old boyfriend say to you, “You’re the tallest girl in the party?” Did anyone ever rudely say to you, “Being chubby is not so bad. You should just embrace it?” Did a teacher ever call you stupid? Did one of your friends jokingly tell you, “Your legs look like pencil sticks?” Did you overhear one of your parents say that you are ugly? Did mama often say, “You make me sick?”
My friends, systematic insults hurled at you leads to embedded negative self perception. Especially, if they started when you were young. Do you agree?
So, how do you reverse a defeating way of thinking?
Know who you are in God? Pray without ceasing. Believe what the Word of God says about you. Discover YOU! Quote and believe what the Word says: “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” Psalms 139:14 KJV
Look in the mirror, SMILE, and say to yourself; “You look GOOD.” Declare it to yourself: “You ARE smart, intelligent, prosperous, bold, and successful. Your hope-filled future is on its’ way.” As stated in the song by KCS; “Speak life into your dead situations.”
Wow! This countdown journey is so refreshing. More layers are peeling back. I’m looking forward to Countdown Day-12.
Thank you for joining me today. Tell me: “How do you remember Ged’s personal promises to you?” We’ll talk soon.
Blessings!
Rochelle
