Originally posted 2017-08-03 02:17:31.
Hi!
Well! It’s countdown Day-21! Today started out with an unexpected assignment. At 9:21 this morning; I received a phone call from our Chief of Staff. He apologized for the late notice; and asked if I could teach midday Bible Study. It’s funny; I had thought about being “Prepared,” and having “Purpose.”
I sighed, and told him, “Yes.” I prayed; plugged the charger in my laptop; read my Bible; pulled out a lesson; and made corrections. I called my son, Justin, to talk to him about the BET videos James taped and sent me. They have Mika on them with Ki, Kisha and another young lady; talking. I also told Justin that I had to teach midday Bible Study; and asked him to pray for me. Then I prepared myself; left home; arrived at the church at 11:45; and taught the lesson.
10 minutes into the lesson; I saw Justin walk in, and sit near the back of the sanctuary. It did my heart good to have my son there as I taught. After the one-hour class was complete; Justin walked up, and complemented me on the lesson. Then he said, “Mama you look tired; you’re sweating. Come on, you need to go home.” After, I talked to a few people; Justin grabbed my hand, and walked me out to my car.
He was right. I was tired. I didn’t feel really well this morning. But God blessed me to bless His people. Praise God!
But tonight, as I write this post; my heart is heavy.
We’re living in a day where the “ecclesia” has become lukewarm. People are on teams, planning programs to appease their egos. People with agendas are being pushed forward. When you’re accustomed to interacting with real teams; dis-functional teams are totally a waste of time.
I’ve noticed how helping God’s people has taken a backseat from being the main goal in planning events for some Christians. It’s so frustrating; until it grieves my spirit. In my opinion; many people of God are miles away from asking God if He’s pleased with our programs.
Can I just say, “I’M TIRED?”
I’m tired of programs geared to satisfy fleshly desires; and there’s no Holy Ghost power in them. I’m tired of looking like the villain; when my mind is on helping God’s people. I’m tired of sitting in meetings wanting to pack my stuff up and walk out. Lord, I need your help!
The word on my heart tonight is, “Choose.”
It’s time to make a choice. Right now, I’m vacillating; between slowly backing out of certain teams, and just out right quitting. That’s because, based upon what people tell me, we’re holding events that aren’t reaching hurting people. They’re entertaining; and that’s a good thing. Yet they’re only stroking the egos of those who want a platform.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m totally not jealous; as some would suppose. I’m just tired of catty nonsense. Actually, my mind is on completing the PhD program, and teaching at a university. Serving the homeless, elderly and convalescent is on my mind. Telling the lost about Jesus is on my mind. Perhaps that’s why ineffective meetings and events are so frustrating. It’s time for ME to, “Spring Beyond These Walls.”
Questions to detect service or serving us:
- Is helping God’s people a priority for you?
- Are you concerned with the thoughts of everyone on the team?
- Have you replaced God’s agenda with your own need for accolades?
- Do you need to show your ability?
- Do you feel as if your idea is thee only idea that’s correct?
My heart is heavy.
I feel so disconnected from fun programs now. After sitting in our monthly book club, and hearing hurting women’s pain; my heart is heavy. After going out with a team to feed the homeless, my heart is heavy. After going to the convalescent home with a team, and serving the residents; my heart is heavy.
Perhaps it’s me. Personal promises are pressing through to manifestation.
Maybe it’s not the team in the meeting. Maybe relevant ministry has a new meaning for me. Maybe, I am being pushed to go out into the highways and hedges to compel God’s people to come to Christ. Perhaps God is pressing me to make a “Choice.” Maybe I need to decide to “Spring Beyond These Walls.” Maybe God is leading me to, “Do the work of an evangelist.” I’m so ready to go, “Spread the good news of the gospel.”
That’s it. That’s what I “Choose” to do. Thank you God for allowing me to get frustrated enough to recognize how you’ve placed “New” in my spirit. Purpose is calling me. Praise God!
My friends, what about you?
Does your heart get heavy; because God is calling you to new? Are you ready to walk in your purpose. I certainly am.
Thank you for joining me today. The layers are steadily peeling. I’m so excited about this journey. Day-20, here we come.
Blessings!
Rochelle
