Originally posted 2017-07-30 00:48:33.
Hi!
Well it is countdown Day-24. There’s a thought-provoking question on my mind. Thursday night, one of the ladies in our Women’s Christian Book Club’s monthly meeting, asked, “Why does rejection hurt so bad?” That question sparked a variety of emotional, passion filled responses from the ladies. Some of the replies were even heated and border line tearful. Our discussion gave evidence that rejection brings out an array of feelings.
The book we’re reading this month is, “Uninvited;” by: Lysa TerKeurst. Though rejection is only a fraction of the topics mentioned in the book; it monopolized our two-hour conversation. We talked about types of rejection. We debated about what is or what isn’t rejection; and touched on the aftermath of rejection. Yet, we all agreed; childhood rejection plays a major role in actions and choices people make throughout their lives.
This reminds me of a conversation I had the other night with my oldest son, Justin.
We briefly discussed rejection. Then we talked about having; and not having friends. It was interesting. We both shared the details of how people crossed us; and how we now hold people at a distance. Justin named people who he has issues with; because of what they did. I told Justin how God delivered me from grudges; and he needs to let go of grudges.
Actually, when so-called friends or family members cross you; IT IS rejection. It can cause you to hold bitterness within. It can hinder you from letting anyone new in. Maybe that’s why a question looms in the air; “Where are the real friends?”
My friends, I guess you can see two words pressing on my mind today: “Friends,” and “Rejection.”
I shared with Justin; how, one day, as I walked through my home; questions popped into my mind. “Rochelle, why do you have so few friends? Do you have any real friends?”
That made me think of Proverbs 18:24. It says, “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” (KJV)
Then I asked myself, “Rochelle, are you a friend? Who are you a friend to?” I thought about a few people; and asked God to help me be a better friend.
Friendships don’t have to begin as small children.
Besides my sons; the person on this earth who stands out as my true friend is, my dear cousin Belinda Jones. I trust her enough to open up with what is on my mind. And I patiently listen to her share her thoughts and wishes. It’s funny; we’ve seen each other all of our lives at family gatherings. But, we just became close in the last five or so years.
The Lord started our budding friendship before my daughter passed away. After Mika died, Belinda and I grew closer. It’s not one-sided. There’s no deception; or sharing personal things we’ve told each other with others. We talk about ministry, life, girl things, issues, dreams, desires, and all kinds of things. I’m thankful to God for my cousin Belinda.
Wow! As I write this post; one of my concerns has arisen. My cousin Belinda deals with a debilitating illness. I pray for her daily. Yet the enemy attacks me with the possibility of the Lord taking her. This causes me to boost my faith up; and believe God for 100% healing for Belinda Not just for me. But for her children, and grandchildren.
Does my shortage of true friends stem from me having a wall up?
Do I hold people at a distance to avoid getting hurt? Yes! I’ve been hurt by all who I considered friends; except my childhood friends; siblings; Joi and Brian and my cousin Belinda. When people prove they’re not really friends; it causes you to keep your distance. But, I must ask myself; am I a friend to those who consider themselves as my friends? There’s a lot to think about.
My friends, what about you? Can you relate. Do you have a village of friends; or do you have one or two friends? Why? Is it because of rejection? Is it because of fear of being rejected? What is it? Is it you? Are you so withdrawn until you won’t let ANYONE in? Are you a friend?
But what do, “Friends,” and “Rejection” have to do with remembering God’s personal promises?
Good question. First, let’s look at what rejection means. The Merriam-Webster definition is: to refuse to accept, consider, submit to, take for some purpose; to refuse to hear, receive, or admit; to rebuff.
Have you ever been rejected? How did it feel? Do you believe some of your current reactions stem from childhood rejection? How do you deal with it?
A definition of friend in the Greek language means: companion, neighbor, one outwardly near to us who should be the object of our concern; in spite of the fact that there are no ties of kindred or nation between us.
I guess that’s why friends have categories. Close friends. Dearest friend. True friends. Associates.
But sometimes you can’t reach nearest and dearest friends. Some might be traveling, working, or going through so much until they don’t get the opportunity to return your call for a week or two. Then what do you do? Do you allow the thought of rejection to overshadow logic? Do you allow childhood rejection to cause you to sulk?
Have you ever felt so alone; with nobody to talk to but God? Isn’t that a good thing. I truly believe God allows us to have periods of isolation to help us draw nearer to Him. Didn’t you pray for a closer walk with the Lord? Think about it. Could God be fulfilling a personal promise in the midst of you feeling rejected by your friends or family? I hear, “Thank you Jesus!” Even in this.
Wow! More layers are peeling. The pain of rejection is peeling back. Loneliness is peeling back. Joy is peeking through. I’m screaming way down on the inside, “YES LORD!
My friends, thank you for joining me today. I’m so looking forward to Day-23 of this wonderful journey. I hope you’re enjoying your journey of peeling back layers; and remembering God’s personal promises to you. We’ll talk soon.
Blessings!
Rochelle
