Originally posted 2017-09-06 11:15:16.
Hi!
Well! It is Countdown Day-6! The closer this journey comes to an end; the greater the attack. But, that’s great; because, strong attacks expose layers in need of being peeled back. Crushing from storms strengthens you; and squeezes out the oil of the anointing. Think about it. Don’t attacks trigger a better you to come forth?
Yesterday, I had to make what I consider; a tough decision; and ask someone for help. I guess you might be saying, “That’s nothing!” Well, perhaps it’s easy for you. But I struggle with asking for help from anyone. But; why was it so difficult? Let’s see!
Why do people hesitate asking for help?
I’m not sure about everyone else. All I can speak to are my personal conflicts. I have been off work since April 2009. After 4 brain surgeries and a mini stroke; one would assume having to seek help is easy. But it’s not.
I find asking for help today; as hard as it was; 25 years ago, when my children were very young. When you’ve had to foot the family responsibilities for so long; seeking help is tough. Especially when you’ve dealt with warding off the stigma that comes with being a single mom. Maintaining your dignity becomes one of your priorities. At least it is for “Go-getter” single moms.
Habits don’t die easily.
When taking care of yourself and 3; sometimes 5; children on your own is your norm; asking for help is not easy. Some people accuse you of being too independent. That might be true. But, think about it. When you’ve been the sole bread-winner in your household for over 25 years; taking care becomes standard.
Perhaps you’ve had years of ups and downs; and dealt with feeling trapped;. A pick-me-upper from feeling poor from struggle; is experiencing happiness with every accomplishment. Making payment arrangements; and writing out budgets are a way of life. Praying through lean times is the usual; and feats are worth celebrating.
When you’re accustomed with handling your business; some see your resistance to receiving help as, pride. It very well might be. Yet, I wonder. Will I ever become comfortable with asking for help? I certainly hope so. My prayer is that God delivers me from the slightest smidgen of pride.
Trouble on every side?
I believe trouble comes with two goals. Trouble will either hinder you, or help you. Which one is it? It’s up to you. Trying times make you stronger. They give opportunities for your faith to grow. If you allow trouble to make you stretch your faith muscles; you will definitely grow. If you cower to the pressures of trouble; you open the door to hindrances. So in other words; there’s a method to the madness. Just choose the right one.
Hope; where are you?
When you have a conglomerate of problems occurring simultaneously; you need hope. Especially when you are dealing with troubles AND grief. During these times, tears sprout at any moment.
Yesterday morning, I picked up a picture of my family and cried. Thoughts of Mika in that bed at Providence Park Hospital, suffering unto death; kept replaying in my mind. The humongous attack was stifling.
Where is your faith?
It’s not that I don’t believe God will make a way. I know He will. The question: “What will He do for me?”
I may seem to lack faith. But I don’t. I’m just unsure of HOW God will answer my prayers. I guess I’ve had this trepidation since my daughter’s death. I remember laying on my face in the chapel at Providence Park Hospital pleading with God. I begged Him to let my Mika live. I cried to God about how Jordan needed his mommy. I cried about how James needed his wife; and how Justin and Melvin needed their sister. But she died. Yet, she’s in a better place.
Oh my Lord! Today, even though I believe you will, dear God; I’m not sure if You will do it for ME! Oh Lord God! Please forgive me. Please forgive my unbelief. Uh oh! Here comes the tears again. Lord please help! Please! I love you Lord. No matter what you allow; I still always love you Lord. You’re my everything Lord.
Hidden enemies being exposed?
Wow!! This is enlightening. The spirits of doubt, unbelief and fear needed exposing. How can you serve God; believe He will do it for others; but doubt that He will do it for you? It’s grief feeding your mind. It’s that old feeling that no one; not even God; loves you creeping around. It’s fear feeding your spirit. Remember the scripture: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 KJV
My friends, here are some questions. “Do you see God’s personal promises shining forth in your life? Do you see why layers need peeling back?” I most certainly do.
Here’s another Scripture: “As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?” Psalms 42:1-2 KJV
There’s a resolve in my spirit. It’s ok to ask, for help. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to testify of what the Lord tells you to. It’s ok to smile. It’s definitely ok to keep pressing on.
I love this countdown; and look forward to Countdown Day-5.
Thank you for joining me today. We’ll talk soon.
Blessings!
Rochelle
