Whose Opinion is the Bully Influencing Your Delay?

Originally posted 2019-04-06 16:18:54.

Hi!

Perhaps you are saying, “This post doesn’t apply to me!  No one bullies me!  Children get bullied!  I am too old to allow anyone to bully me!  Scary people get bullied!  Big, bad me will never get bullied!”  But, are you sure about that?

Consider the following thoughts:

They will say,  “Who do you think you are?”  They will think I’m trying to do too much.  They are going to think I’m just starving for attention; or I’m trying to become well-known.  They will call me a copycat.

Do you ever have any of those thoughts? 

If so; how do they affect you?  Do those thoughts inspire you to push forward?   If so; that’s great.

Sometimes, even though you say, “People’s opinions don’t matter;” those questioning thoughts may sway you.  They may drive your procrastination, or cause you to stop something you once set out to do.  But, why?

Better yet; who are THEY?

People may say, or think negative things about you.   But, so what?  Why does it matter?  Criticisms and opinions are normal.  The problem happens, when you give other people’s opinions so much weight until they stifle you.  When that happens; their opinions have become your bully.

I am not saying, to ignore sound advice from a trusted, secure, leader who has a life dedicated to God.  That is different.  We all need Godly counsel.  When you have prayed; and God has given you a mandate; talking to your leader gives you a prayerful covering.  That gives you incentive to press forward.  Your leader may also recommend that you explore more options.  That helps you avoid rash decisions.  But, it is not a suggestion to halt.

You may also have a MAC (My Accountability Crew)!

MAC is a set of trusted confidantes who you discuss ideas with.  Though you don’t always readily receive what they say; their advice matters.

For example; recently, I started building a new website;  www.rochellellampkinministries.com.  Stephanie of MAC suggested the site to me three years ago.  But, I hesitated until now.   

Last month, I showed the draft of the site to four members of MAC.  My sons, Olivia and Kierra.  Their excitement encouraged me to go forward.  But Kierra said something that sparked the thought of this post.  She asked, “Auntie, what is holding you back?  Who are you concerned about?”

I shared with her what I had experienced.  She said, “Aunty, I know you try to stay humble; but you need to SHUT THAT DOWN!”  I responded, “Ki, I know me.  I don’t want that old Rochelle to go off.  Not curse, but, go off.”  

That conversation sparked an epiphany.  I realized, I allowed certain people’s opinions to influence my actions.  I had a bully, and didn’t know it.  I prayed, “Why God?  Why have I allowed this to affect me?  It is ridiculous.”

God is awesome.  He orchestrates discussions to set the path toward your release.  He helps you to see how life teaches you.  He shows you how ALL things work together for the good to those who love Him, and are the called according to His purpose.

My birthday was on the last Wednesday in March.  I woke up the morning before with a bad cough, congestion and a headache.   My body was aching, until I stayed home from church on my birthday.

But there was an attack on my mind.  I kept hearing; “They will think you just missed church because of your birthday.”  I was going to push on to church; but my body’s pains were talking louder.  “NO!  ROCHELLE!!  SO WHAT?  Stop being concerned about people’s opinions of you!”

After going to the doctor; Thursday and being told that I had an upper respiratory infection; the opinion gauge was still in action.  On Friday; the cough and aches persisted; so I stayed home from church again.  The concern about people’s opinions raced across my mind.  The attack lasted through Sunday.  But the congestion was too strong; I stayed home again.

The bully of opinion had waged a war against me.

The trial period of building my new website was nearing its last 3 days.  I had to make a decision.  Either pay for the site; or lose what I had spent a month working on.  The thoughts about people’s opinions were my delay.  I heard, “People will say that you weren’t sick.  You just stayed home to work on that site.”

This is an all out WAR!  It’s a spiritually antagonistic stronghold.  When did these bullying thoughts begin?  I don’t know.  But, I set out to uncover the cause.  An obvious question came, as I contemplated the culprit.  What does bully mean?

According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary; bully as a noun means: “a blustering, browbeating person especially : one who is habitually cruel, insulting, or threatening to others who are weaker, smaller, or in some way vulnerable.  As a transitive verb, bully means: to treat (someone) in a cruel, insulting, threatening, or aggressive fashion : to cause (someone) to do something by means of force or coercion.”

POW!!!  That’s it!  FEAR is the driving force that fuels bullying. 

Bullies thrive on inciting fear.  Even though, you are not a weak person; hearing years of insults, begin to affect your actions.  People who you know are not where you are intellectually or spiritually, chip away at your confidence.  When you constantly hear put downs from people; after a while, if you’re not careful; you will begin to believe those things as true about you. 

It’s like water repeatedly dripping on a brick.  It seems insignificant at first.  But, after so long, if the brick is not covered; those small drips begin to erode the strength of the brick; until the brick becomes a soft stone; sand, and no longer a brick.

My friend, do you allow the opinions of people to chip away at your strength, and influence your actions?  When did it begin? 

What should you do to overcome the bullies?  

Ask yourself:  “Why do I care about people’s opinions?  What’s driving me to care?  Is pride flooding me with self-defeating questions?   Only God has the last say in my life, in earth and eternity.  Why should I fear people?”

Read Psalm 27:1-6; silently and aloud. 

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell. Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident. One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple. For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock. And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord.”

My friend, spoken and unspoken opinions only do what you allow.  Also, some opinions are merely figments of your imagination.  People may not be thinking bad things about you.  It may be just in your mind.  Even if people think bad of you; don’t allow the enemy of success to bully you into the space of delay.  Do what God has placed in you!  Do it now!  Pray, and don’t delay!

Thank you for joining me today.  I will leave you with this question.  “Whose opinion is the bully influencing your delay?”  We will talk soon.

Blessings!

Rochelle