Originally posted 2017-11-20 10:55:05.
Hi!
Do you wonder why some people never smile? It is easy to make assumptions about those who always have straight faces. That is because; upside-down smiles make great topics for conversations.
Especially when you’re asked what someone looks like. Do you find yourself describing people by their unique facial expressions? When asked how someone looks; do you say; “The one that looks like they have eaten lemons?” But, before you come to a conclusion about a person that does not smile; think about it. There are so many reasons why people do not smile.
It could be the result of current pain; a long history of being hurt; or from fear of rejection. Some people might be frustrated with life; period. Perhaps some who do not smile are always in deep thought. People might not smile because they have experienced the lack of reciprocation one time too many. The hurt from being ignored has stock piled in their subconscious.
The fear of lack of reciprocation can develop at an early age.
Every other week, I take my grandson to school. I noticed, a lot of the children do not smile at each other. Why?
Some children might be hungry; frustrated because of their clothes;
or have problems at home. Children might be grieving the death of one of their parents. They could be afraid; or worried about classroom bullies. The reasons children do not smile at each other are never-ending.
One morning, as I was walking Jordan into school; he shouted “Hi” to one of his classmates. The little girl looked back; and mean-mugged him, without speaking. But, I saw the smile on her face; as she turned back around.
Jordan dropped his head. I said, “Jordan do not feel bad. Maybe she is sleepy; and frustrated because she had to get up early. You know how you move so slow, when Gaga tells you to hurry.” He smiled; and went on into school.
I did not tell Jordan about my seeing her smile. Maybe she has a little crush on Jordan; and clams up when he comes around. Maybe she is just shy; and afraid to speak.
But what is behind adults not smiling?
It could be for some of the same reasons why children do not smile. Sometimes, men get serious looks on their faces when they are around women who attract them. Women do the same thing. Some of us become tongue-tied when we are around fine men. Oh yes we do!
Perhaps the one who does not smile is mean. Maybe people who do not smile feel as if 
they do not have a reason to smile. Especially if they are going through hardships in their lives.
What else?
Misery does not have to always be the reason adults do not smile. Just like, happiness, is not necessarily the emotion behind a smile. Have you ever smiled to keep from crying? It is difficult at times; but it is possible. Think about it. Has anyone ever insulted you; and you smiled, and kept it moving? That is a wonderful art. I have learned to think of something positive when people take jabs at me. It defuses anger.
If you seldom smile; perhaps it is time to face the cause.
I recently had an epiphany about myself. I realized, I rarely smile. It caused me to wonder, “Why?” I thought about it. My lack of smiling is due to habit.
But; I also discovered that, I always wonder why people do not smile when I look at them. At first, I thought it was because people do not like me. Then the Lord dropped something in my spirit. He said, “Rochelle, you always have a serious look on your face. Maybe, people are responding to your facial expression.” Wow! Thank you Holy Spirit! I had not looked at it from that perspective.
Then the confirmation.
There is a quote by Les Brown that personally speaks to me. It says: “Your smile will give you a positive countenance that will make people feel comfortable around you.” It affirmed my thoughts about why people do not always smile at me.
So, I gave myself a new challenge. SMILE! 
Smile at as many people as you can. Smile at those who you know do not like you. Smile at mean people. Smile at strangers. Smile at everyone. Smile when you think of what you have prayed about. When you think about that which has manifested; and what you are waiting to happen; SMILE! But; first thing is first. Answer the question:
Why did I rarely smile?
I used to have foolish thoughts about smiling. I grew up in a household filled with physical abuse and anger. Smiles were not the norm. We usually did not smile when we saw each other. We all kept dry, lifeless looks on our faces.
Serious looks were signature marks in my immediate family’s culture. Even though we had spurts of happy moments with smiles; the hostility in our home lingered. That unhappiness followed me into my adulthood. Going from a home of abuse, to a relationship of abuse fed the solemn look. Losing my parents, three siblings, and only daughter gave the enemy an opening to perpetuate reasons not to smile.
As a matter of fact; when people smiled at me; I used to wonder; “Why are they smiling?” In my warped opinion; I thought smiling was ridiculous. But, that is so NOT TRUE.
There are so many reasons to smile.
Have you ever had a wonderful dream, filled with joy; and you woke up smiling? Maybe you heard a joke, or saw someone do something really silly? What about unexpected phone calls, texts, gifts, or complements?
Doesn’t it make you smile to look in the mirror after you have dressed up? What about when you have completed a major project? That relief should make you smile.
Seeing others happy is a reason to smile. 
Listening to someone express joy in their accomplishments gives reason to smile. Loved ones’ new contracts; promotions; raised credit scores; honor roll; college degrees; and new ministry make you smile. Hearing about someone getting that dream job; dream car; taking that vacation they always wanted are reasons to smile. It lets you know; God is still blessing.
My friends, if life has happened to you, and your smile has dissipated; force yourself to smile. Even when you wake up to troubles; smile. Thank God for waking you up to another day that has potential for moments of happiness. Dream again! Believe God again! Walk victoriously again! Take the challenge mentioned above. SMILE!
Here’s a scripture to usher you into a smile;
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Philippians 4:8 KJV Praise God!
Thank you for joining me today. I will leave you with this question, “Why are you smiling?” Think about it; and SMILE!! We will talk soon.
Blessings!
Rochelle
